Forgiveness

FORGIVENESS

An Exposition of Matthew 18:21-35

By Pastor Brian Wilbur

Date:   June 7, 2020

Series: Crucial Teachings for Chaotic Times

Note:   Scripture quotations are from The ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard   Version®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

GENERAL INTRODUCTION

There are some critical issues that we need to be thinking about as a church family as we seek to navigate the days ahead. So what I would like to do is preach eight sermons in June and July, with each sermon addressing a key topic. I am calling this special sermon series ‘Crucial Teachings in Chaotic Times’.

Of course, all that Scripture teaches is crucial, and our fallen world always has a measure of chaos. But right now the times are especially chaotic in our country: an unfolding pandemic; the government’s attempt to control the spread of the virus by exerting substantial control over every sphere of life; extensive economic disruption; a history of racial injustice; some people assembling to protest actual or perceived injustice; other people mixing riot, destruction, and looting into the protests; and all of this set within a framework of partisan politics. Further, so much of our experience of these things is mediated by media and social media information, or selective information, or distorted information, or misinformation. Worldly agendas are pushed with great zeal. Level-headed, fair-minded analysis seems to be in short supply. And like the dark days in which the prophet Isaiah lived: “Truth is lacking, and he who departs from evil makes himself a prey.” (Isaiah 59:15)

Of course, there are many things that we do not know and understand. There are many complex things about which we are unsure how they all fit together. Our slice of knowledge is actually quite thin.

But we need to take heart: the God who knows everything doesn’t take pleasure in people who boast in how much they know (see Jeremiah 9:23). Instead, the sovereign and all-wise God takes pleasure in people who know and understand Him and His ways (see Jeremiah 9:24).

You don’t need to be an expert cultural observer in order to live honorably in chaotic times. What you need is a heart and mind that are being continually re-aligned with the Word of God.

So I want to take eight key ideas that God has revealed to us in the Bible, and set these ideas before us – one idea each Sunday for eight weeks. If we lay hold of God’s ideas and live in accordance with them, then we will be much more equipped – individually and together – to live well in trouble times and demonstrate a clear Christian witness to our suffering world.

THE FIRST CRUCIAL TEACHING: FORGIVENESS

The first crucial teaching that I want us to ponder is the gift of forgiveness. Why do I want to talk about forgiveness? Because America is demonstrating that its ‘forgiveness department’ is profoundly bankrupt. Forgiveness, of course, is not a stand-alone reality. For example, Colossians 3:12-15 shows us that true forgiveness is accompanied by compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, patience, forbearance, love, and peace. Do you see such qualities on display in America’s public square?

I have no doubt that there are people who do indeed show such grace. Even so, the spirit of forgiveness seems exceptional amid all the shouting and noise. We are quick to criticize, point the finger in blame, and express outrage. We assume the worst. We form sharp opinions almost immediately, and along very predictable lines: ‘If they are for it, we are against it.’ We are easily provoked and stirred up against one another. It is always someone else’s fault. It is always someone else who is being dishonest. It is always someone else who needs to change.

As a matter of prudence, people should slow down. The Bible says:

“Do you see a man who is wise in his own eyes?

There is more hope for a fool than for him.” (Proverbs 26:12)

“Do you see a man who is hasty in his words?

There is more hope for a fool than for him.” (Proverbs 29:20)

There is simply not much hope for a self-wise slinger of hasty words, so let’s aspire to not be found among them. And yet, self-wise slingers of hasty words do succeed at stirring up anger and stoking the fires of bitterness.  

And within an environment of constant criticizing and endless smearing, the possibility of forgiveness stands afar off, and broken relationships remain.

There are, of course, real issues that must be reckoned with. The partisan rancor and political divisiveness is one thing – in fact, these are symptomatic of how spiritually sick and morally bankrupt we are as a nation.

Racial injustice is another thing, with a long and painful history in our country and around the world. Lord-willing, one of the crucial teachings in this sermon series will unpack the biblical vision of a multi-ethnic global community gathered around the Lamb of God in the new creation.

But in this sermon I want to proclaim loud and clear that the divisions and injustices and pains within our country have no hope of being healed apart from the gracious forgiveness that comes as a gift from above. Every fleshly effort to fix our deep-seated problems will, in the long run, only succeed at reconfiguring the deep-seated problems.

THE SHAPE OF A SOCIETY THAT IS FAR FROM CHRIST

In fact, life apart from Christ is full of darkness. Listen to how Paul describes the lifestyle of Christian people before they became Christians:

“For we ourselves were once foolish, disobedient, led astray, slaves to various passions and pleasures, passing our days in malice and envy, hated by others and hating one another.” (Titus 3:3)

This is what they were like until “the goodness and kindness of God our Savior” showed up and changed them (Titus 3:4). And this is what the public square of America will continue to be like unless the Spirit of God visits our land with another great awakening. Otherwise you should expect folly, unruliness, irrationality, cruelty, and envy to keep marching through the land.

But if we ourselves have been transformed by God’s grace, then we should make it our aim to do what Paul says it Titus 3:2 – “to speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all people.” (Titus 3:2) If we have been forgiven, cleansed, and renewed, then let us demonstrate it in our conduct and speech, and let us show the world what it looks like to have “the peace of Christ [ruling] in [our] hearts” (Colossians 3:15).

THE PARABLE OF THE UNFORGIVING SERVANT

In Matthew 18:10-20, Jesus teaches us how important it is to seek and restore a brother or sister who has gone astray. Although the word ‘forgive’ doesn’t occur in these verses, the concept is clearly present – and it is on the apostle Peter’s mind as we come to Matthew 18:21-35.

Verse 21 says:

“Then Peter came up and said to him [Jesus], “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?”” (Matthew 18:21)

Peter probably thinks that he is being generous, but Jesus makes it clear that “seven times” is definitely not generous enough!

Verse 22 says:

“Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.”” (Matthew 18:22)

In other words, stop counting! The whole point of forgiveness is to not count other people’s sins against them. But if we put the transaction on a ledger and give it a number and are prepared to use it against them at some future time, then we haven’t truly forgiven them. Throw away the ledger, stop keeping track, and treat every offense as a brand new opportunity to extend forgiveness.

Now in order to drive this instruction about forgiveness deep into our hearts, Jesus proceeds to tell a story that powerfully illustrates what it means to participate in God’s kingdom of grace.

Verses 23-24 say:

“Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants.When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents.” (Matthew 18:23-24)

“[Ten] thousand talents” is an enormous sum of money. Although it is difficult to transfer ‘currency value’ from one time period to another, a simple exercise will help us get our bearings. The English Standard Version has a footnote which defines a talent as “a monetary unit worth about twenty years’ wages for a laborer.”[1] So let’s say that a laborer today earns $40,000/year. One talent would be twenty years of income, which in our example would be $800,000. But we are dealing with “ten thousand talents”! When you multiply $800,000 times 10,000, you get $8,000,000,000 (8 billion dollars)! Jesus’ point is that the servant owes his king an over-the-top, unpayable debt. The debt is completely unmanageable, and the situation is totally unredeemable as far as the servant is concerned. The king’s justice will be the servant’s ruin.

Verses 25-27 say:

“And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made. So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’ And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt.” (Matthew 18:25-27)

The servant only requested patience. Instead he received a full pardon.  The servant wanted the king to delay his justice in order to give him time to make things right. Instead the king delighted to show him mercy.  The servant wanted an opportunity to erase the debt himself by repaying it. Instead the king took it upon himself to erase the debt by forgiving it. Lavish mercy. Undeserved favor. 

Proverbs 16:14-15 say,

“A king’s wrath is a messenger of death, and a wise man will appease it. In the light of a king’s face there is life, and his favor is like the clouds that bring the spring rain.” (Proverbs 16:14-15)

In the parable, the king showed favor to a man who deserved the opposite. What freedom and relief and sense of gratitude the now forgiven servant should have felt. He should have marveled and stood in awe of the king’s kindness.  But the story reads a different way.

The parable continues in verses 28-30:

“But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii,and seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay what you owe.’ So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’ He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt.” (Matthew 18:28-30)

The first servant had owed the king ten thousand talents – 8 billion dollars! Now there was a second servant who owed the first servant “a hundred denarii.” The English Standard Version has a footnote which defines a denarius as “a day’s wage for a laborer.”[2] One hundred days of wages – say around $16,000 – is not insignificant. For most people, $16,000 would make a real difference in their household finances.

That said, Jesus wants us to do a comparison. Compared to the 8 billion dollars that the first servant had owed the king, the $16,000 that the second servant owed him was small potatoes. If the first servant had been living in the riches of the grace that he had received from the king – if the first servant had been transformed by the compassion and kindness of the king – then he would have eagerly and gladly released his fellow servant and forgiven him the debt.

But the first servant’s heart was unchanged, exacting, demanding, and cruel. Therefore he consigned his fellow servant to prison. Whether this particular action might have been allowable, lawful, or just is beside the point. The kingdom of heaven runs on the grace of compassion; the joy of forgiveness; the beauty of canceling debts and casting them into the depths of an ocean of love; and the restoration of relationships that takes place when the obstructions of sin are cleared out of the way. Tragically, the truth of heaven’s kingdom had not been internalized in the first servant – therefore he used the force of the law to lock up his fellow servant.

When you take a pardon from the king as nothing more than an opportunity to get off the hook so that you can get on with the business of living a self-centered life on your own terms, you have missed the point. When you rush out of the king’s presence ready to resume your previous way of life, but you are unmoved by the king’s grace and unconcerned about being transformed by that grace, then you have made a mockery of the king’s forgiveness – and sooner or later you will find out that you have not yet experienced true forgiveness.

The parable concludes in verses 31-35:  

“When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their master all that had taken place. Then his master summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?’ And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers, until he should pay all his debt. So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.” (Matthew 18:31-35)

The first servant’s unwillingness to give mercy – after he had received so much mercy – rightly struck the other servants as profoundly unfitting – the first servant was not acting in a manner consistent with the King of the kingdom. “[They] were greatly distressed” and referred the matter to the king. The once gracious smile of the king now turns to anger and displeasure. The pardon is revoked and the punishment is severe. He will remain in jail until he pays back all of his debt. How does a man in jail pay back a debt of several billion dollars?  He doesn’t. 

And Jesus concludes with a stern warning. Here’s the idea: if you exclude others from your circle of mercy, then the Father will exclude you from His circle of mercy. If you refuse to treat others in a way that reflects the Father’s graciousness, then the Father will break fellowship with you. And if you continue down the path of being unable and unwilling to be a conduit of forgiveness to others, then you demonstrate that you are a stranger to God’s forgiveness and you show yourself to be outside the sphere of His grace.

APPLICATION AND REFLECTION

This parable shows us how extremely important it is to live within the realm of God’s forgiveness. Now let’s take some time to reflect on this parable in view of the very broken world that we inhabit.

We Must Understand How Our Sinful World Operates

First, it needs to be clearly understood how our sinful world typically operates. This world of human beings is full of debts, slights, infringements, offenses, injustices – and the unconverted continue to “[pass their] days in malice and envy, hated by others and hating one another,” as Titus 3:3 puts it. There is always an increasing debt of sin within a family and between families, within a tribe and between tribes, within an ethnic group and between ethnic groups, within a nation and between nations, within a generation and between generations. The actual and perceived violations are piled high on all sides. And here’s the sobering reality: without forgiveness, the debts and slights and infringements and offenses and injustices – or allegations thereof – will remain at the center of the relationship. The sins (actual or alleged), and the guilt (actual or assumed), will define the relationship.

In the parable, the second servant’s debt to the first servant defined the relationship: this is why the first servant seized the man, choked him, and imprisoned him. Do you know how much physical or emotional or social or political or psychological seizing and choking and imprisoning goes on in our world today? It is happening all the time – in hearts and in homes, in neighborhoods and in nations. Individuals do it; interest groups do it; politicians do it; governments do it; media outlets do it – they keep the debt, the sin, the guilt at the center of our broken relationships and at the center of ‘the conversation’. Then they say: ‘Let’s talk about this. Let’s hold a summit. Let’s change the way we talk about this. Let’s read the right book and listen to the right people. Let’s put the wrong people over there to the side. Let’s take a fresh approach to keeping people safe. Let’s reform the justice system. Let’s pass legislation. Let’s invest money or redirect our funding. Let’s invent a new normal.’ To be clear, I am not suggesting that these things don’t have any value. What I am saying – and what I am intending to say with great clarity – is that the sum total of all of these efforts will ultimately fail if the debt and the sin and the injustice and the guilt are not cleared out of the way through forgiveness. Not a cheap forgiveness, by the way, not a wink and nod, not a nice spin of clever words. Not forgiveness without repentance. Not forgiveness without truth and truth-telling. Not forgiveness without profound humbling. Not forgiveness without being transformed and reconciled. But true forgiveness – God’s gracious forgiveness toward us, and then our gracious forgiveness toward others – true forgiveness must enter and overwhelm and transform the landscape. Otherwise all we have is still guilty, still unforgiven, still untransformed, still unreconciled people attempting to build a better world on the weak foundation of worldly wisdom. When God’s grace, mercy, peace stand afar off, all we can do is attempt to manage the debts, manage the guilt, manage the injustices, manage the broken relationships in our own strength. And while we might perhaps achieve apparent, limited, and short-term successes, the godless world that humanity builds and re-builds has no future. Sooner or later, sins old and new, guilt old and new, mismanagement old and new, all accompanied by the fear of death and the wrath of God, will ruin the work of men. Remember that when you watch the news. Remember that when you listen to the pundits.

We Must Understand What True Forgiveness Does

Second, it needs to be clearly understood what true forgiveness does: “And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt” (v. 27). The one who forgives actually releases the guilty party from the burden and weight of the debt that the sin incurred. True forgiveness cancels the debt. It clears the sin out of the way. It absorbs the cost that the guilty party ought to pay but is unable to pay. It sets the guilty party free. It brings about an immediate ‘cessation of hostilities’ between offended and offender, and it immediately sets the stage for renewed relationship between them. Forgiveness is not a business transaction or an act of religious formality. Instead, forgiveness graciously puts away the offense that has damaged the relationship in order to repair the relationship and restore the fellowship. In fact, forgiveness is powerful and effective to turn enemies into friends.

And yet, the world is a stranger to it. ‘Man’s inhumanity to man’ – our incivility, uncharity, and brutality – fill the pages of human history. Meanwhile, there is a kingdom of peace that would change everything, if only people would enter into it. But this peaceful kingdom is not like the one that John Lennon imagined. He pipe-dreamed a world with no heaven above, no hell below, no countries, no religion, no possessions, no need – but only “[a] brotherhood of man… all the people sharing all the world.”[3] A global brotherhood characterized by comprehensive sharing is a nice thought from secular man’s point of view, but something like that is totally unachievable apart from God’s grace.

In fact, the real kingdom of peace and grace is the one that God is building. In great mercy, the Father sent His Son to pay the incalculable debt that we could never pay. God’s Son absorbed our 8 billion dollars of sin-debt – all our treasonous and unholy offenses against the Holy One – in His body on the cross. God’s Son died for His enemies – atoning for our iniquities – so that the word of grace could be spoken over us: released, forgiven, set free, reconciled, and welcomed as a son or daughter in His family. God’s Son shed His blood, so that we don’t have to be crushed under the weight of divine justice. God’s Son shed His blood, so that we would stop shedding each other’s blood.

Illustration #1: Renee and Eric

Are you familiar with the beautiful story behind Matthew West’s song “Forgiveness”? In 2002, Renee lost her twenty-year-old daughter Megan because of a drunk driver named Eric. Eric was sentenced to twenty-two years in prison. As Renee’s anger burned toward Eric, she knew that she was getting imprisoned in her own bitterness. She knew that she had to forgive Eric. So she did: she visited Eric and extended forgiveness. The healing began. In due course, Renee’s family members followed suit and also extended forgiveness to Eric. Eric’s life was profoundly changed by this demonstration of grace. Renee and her family developed a real relationship with Eric: Eric became a meaningful “part of their family” and “like a son to Renee.” Remarkably, Renee and her family went to the judge on Eric’s behalf, and they successfully persuaded the judge to cut Eric’s sentence in half. The gracious act of forgiveness removed the enmity and allowed friendship to grow in its place.[4]

Forgiveness isn’t easy, but it is essential. Refusing to forgive others cuts off the possibility of fellowship with our heavenly Father (v. 35). But when you forgive other people “from your heart” (v. 35), you not only free them from their indebtedness to you, but you also get to enjoy the blessedness of living within the refreshing stream of God’s grace. Your heavenly Father takes pleasure in you when you let His mercy toward you overflow in mercy toward a fellow sinner: “And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?” (v. 33)

When it comes to addressing the many ills and perplexities of our world, the reality is – to adapt a quote from G. K. Chesteron – true forgiveness has not been tried and found wanting; it has been found difficult and left untried.[5] Make sure that true forgiveness is not left untried in your sphere of relationships. Your home, church family, workplace and neighborhood need you to be a conduit of grace!

But yes, practicing true forgiveness is difficult. And the difficulty of it should prompt us to lean into the Lord for help. So let’s learn from our sister Corrie ten Boom.

Illustration #2: Corrie ten Boom and a Former Officer

Corrie ten Boom is famous for her book The Hiding Place and the heroic actions behind it. Corrie ten Boom and her family protected the Jews who were vulnerable to Nazi cruelty. Eventually, however, Corrie and her sister Betsie were captured and sent into the disgrace of a concentration camp. After the war, Corrie hit the speaking circuit and shared God’s message of love in many places.

On one such occasion after “a church service in Munich” she saw a former official from the women’s concentration camp at Ravensbruck. This man “had stood guard at the shower room door in the processing center…. And suddenly it was all there,” she writes, “– the roomful of mocking men, the heaps of clothing, Betsie's pain-blanched face.”

Her former persecutor came up to Corrie. “[Beaming] and bowing,” he said, “How grateful I am for your message, Fraulein [Miss]. To think that, as you say, He has washed my sins away!” Corrie reflects: “His hand was thrust out to shake mine. And I, who had preached so often to the people… the need to forgive, kept my hand at my side.” 

A battle raged inside Corrie: “angry, vengeful thoughts boiled through [her].” And yet, she knew that such thoughts were sinful. She knew that since the Lord Jesus Christ had shed His blood for this man, she could not ask for more. In that moment she prayed to the Lord to help her forgive this man. But at first she couldn’t. She felt no “warmth or charity” in her heart. She prayed again. She prayed to the Lord, “Give me Your forgiveness.”

Then it happened. Corrie writes:

“As I took his hand the most incredible thing happened. From my shoulder along my arm and through my hand a current seemed to pass from me to him, while into my heart sprang a love for this stranger that almost overwhelmed me. And so I discovered that it is not on our forgiveness any more than on our goodness that the world's healing hinges, but on His. When He tells us to love our enemies, He gives, along with the command, the love itself.”[6]

Dear friends, the world is overrun with the lack of forgiveness. It is our privilege to show the world a better way, and to demonstrate what it means to live in the transforming grace of God’s forgiveness.

ENDNOTES

[1] See the English Standard Version footnote on Matthew 18:24.

[2] See the English Standard Version footnote on Matthew 18:28.

[3] John Lennon, “Imagine.”

[4] For the story behind Matthew West’s song “Forgiveness” see: “Matthew West - Forgiveness (Live)” available online at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n9J6xOT3Ldw&app=desktop; and “Matthew West - Story Behind the Song “Forgiveness”” available online at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wz3tkHv5sbg. In my summary of this story, the quotations are taken from the first video “Matthew West - Forgiveness (Live).”

[5] G. K. Chesterton’s original quote is: “The Christian ideal has not been tried and found wanting. It has been found difficult; and left untried.”

[6] My summary of this story along with all of the quotations, is drawn from Corrie ten Boom’s own description of what happened – available online at https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/717888-it-was-at-a-church-service-in-munich-that-I.