The Gospel Transforms Our Relationships

THE GOSPEL TRANSFORMS OUR RELATIONSHIPS

An Exposition of Paul's Letter to Philemon

By Pastor Brian Wilbur

Date: September 6, 2020

Series: Stand-Alone Sermons

Note: Scripture quotations are from The ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

INTRODUCTION

We must let the gospel transform our relationships with each other, to the point that we then give ourselves wholeheartedly to honor, love, and refresh our fellow Christians. We must let the grace of Christ produce beautiful relationships within the church family.

Indeed, as the gospel of God’s grace gets rooted in our hearts, it profoundly transforms the way that we relate to other people, especially our Christian brothers and sisters. The apostle Peter tells us that being a Christian means being a partaker of the divine nature (2 Peter 1:4) – and this means, among other things, that it is our privilege to reflect God’s character in the way that we live, and to reflect God’s graciousness in the way that we treat others. Jesus put it this way: “Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful.” (Luke 6:36)

However, if and when our base of operations is the sinful nature, then we will not treat people in a way that pleases the Lord. And when we are operating out of the sinful nature, whose interests are uppermost in our mind? My interests! As Pete reminded us in his August 23 sermon, sin is essentially selfish – I put myself first! And when I put myself first, I may attempt to ‘use God’ but I do not love Him; and I may attempt to ‘use others’ but I do not love them.

People who put themselves first prefer a ‘contract approach’ to relationships. When it comes to a contract, no one is ‘all in’. Your commitment to the other party is limited to the few responsibilities expressly set forth in the contract, and the other party’s level of commitment is likewise limited. Indeed, a ‘limitation of liability’ clause is a staple in contracts – which in legalese is a way of saying that our commitment to you is narrow and limited. When you enter into a contract, you agree to pay the money, and they agree to provide the service. If you stop paying, you will quickly discover that Verizon has no unwavering commitment your welfare, and that Spectrum has no firm resolution to seek your highest good no matter what. On the same token, if the company fails to uphold their end of the deal, then you take your business elsewhere. After all, you don’t have a sacrificial devotion to the well-being of your cellular and internet providers.

Now contracts between customers and businesses are one thing. What concerns me in this particular sermon is that all too often, human beings approach their relationships to one another in a contractual manner. In our unwritten ‘terms of service’, we decide that we’ll pitch in a little bit here and there to the people that we like, but – don’t expect me to lay down my life for anybody, don’t expect me to lay down my rights for anybody, don’t even expect me to lay down my preferences for anybody. I’m doing my own thing, thank you very much, and if that happens to be your thing too, then come along for the ride. But you dare not offend me or cross me in any way. Do that, or otherwise become dead weight, and you’re out of here! As for everyone else, don’t expect me to live sacrificially for the well-being of people who I hardly know or who I don’t like or who have a bad track record or who have hurt me in the past. I don’t have time for them. I’m running my own show over here, and that’s quite enough.

By contrast, the gospel explodes our little ‘terms of service’ approach to life. The gospel brings us into fellowship with the Lord and fellowship with one another. In the richness of this gospel fellowship, we are called to give ourselves wholehearted and unreservedly to one another.

In the August 23 sermon, Pete defined agape love as the ‘steady inclination of the will to another’s highest good’. God’s will for us as a church family is for us to display such love back and forth to each other. Listen to the words of James Orr:

“Love, generally, is that principle which leads one moral being to desire and delight in another, and reaches its highest form in that personal fellowship in which each lives in the life of the other, and finds his joy in imparting himself to the other, and in receiving back the outflow of that other’s affection unto himself.”[1]

Such a vision of love – a vision for ‘all in’ mutual fellowship – is put on display in Paul’s letter to Philemon.

THE SCRIPTURAL TEXT

God’s holy Word, as it is given to us in Paul’s letter to Philemon, says:

¹ Paul, a prisoner for Christ Jesus, and Timothy our brother,

To Philemon our beloved fellow worker ² and Apphia our sister and Archippus our fellow soldier, and the church in your house:

³ Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.

⁴ I thank my God always when I remember you in my prayers, ⁵ because I hear of your love and of the faith that you have toward the Lord Jesus and for all the saints, ⁶ and I pray that the sharing of your faith may become effective for the full knowledge of every good thing that is in us for the sake of Christ. ⁷ For I have derived much joy and comfort from your love, my brother, because the hearts of the saints have been refreshed through you.

⁸ Accordingly, though I am bold enough in Christ to command you to do what is required, ⁹ yet for love's sake I prefer to appeal to you—I, Paul, an old man and now a prisoner also for Christ Jesus— ¹⁰ I appeal to you for my child, Onesimus, whose father I became in my imprisonment. ¹¹ (Formerly he was useless to you, but now he is indeed useful to you and to me.) ¹² I am sending him back to you, sending my very heart. ¹³ I would have been glad to keep him with me, in order that he might serve me on your behalf during my imprisonment for the gospel, ¹⁴ but I preferred to do nothing without your consent in order that your goodness might not be by compulsion but of your own accord. ¹⁵ For this perhaps is why he was parted from you for a while, that you might have him back forever,¹⁶ no longer as a bondservant but more than a bondservant, as a beloved brother—especially to me, but how much more to you, both in the flesh and in the Lord.

¹⁷ So if you consider me your partner, receive him as you would receive me. ¹⁸ If he has wronged you at all, or owes you anything, charge that to my account. ¹⁹ I, Paul, write this with my own hand: I will repay it—to say nothing of your owing me even your own self. ²⁰ Yes, brother, I want some benefit from you in the Lord. Refresh my heart in Christ.

²¹ Confident of your obedience, I write to you, knowing that you will do even more than I say. ²² At the same time, prepare a guest room for me, for I am hoping that through your prayers I will be graciously given to you.

²³ Epaphras, my fellow prisoner in Christ Jesus, sends greetings to you, ²⁴ and so do Mark, Aristarchus, Demas, and Luke, my fellow workers.

²⁵ The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit. (Philemon 1-25)

A BRIEF OVERVIEW OF THE WHOLE LETTER

Paul’s letter to Philemon divides into four parts.

In verses 1-3 we find the opening of the letter. Paul identifies himself as the primary author of the letter. Then Paul identifies his “beloved fellow worker” (v. 1) Philemon as the primary recipient of the letter – although Paul makes it clear that this letter is not a private letter for Philemon’s eyes only, but an open letter that would also be read or heard by Apphia, Archippus, and the whole church that meets in Philemon’s house. Since Philemon hosts this house-church in his own home and is identified as Paul’s “fellow worker,” Philemon must be one of the leaders of the church. As is his custom, Paul conveys grace and peace to his dear friends – not his grace and peace, but “[grace]… and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ” (v. 3). We should never tire of hearing this word of blessing, for it reminds us that God has brought us into His forever family and continually bestows spiritual blessing on the people that He has redeemed.

In verses 4-7 we find Paul thanking God for Philemon because Philemon is a mature Christian man who regularly demonstrates both love and faith.

In verses 8-20 we find the main body of the letter, in which Paul makes an appeal to Philemon.

Finally in verses 21-25 we find the closing of the letter. Paul expresses confidence that Philemon will respond favorably to the letter (v. 21). Paul anticipates a visit to Philemon and asks him to “prepare a guest room” (v. 22). Paul “sends greetings” (v. 23) on behalf of five of his co-workers: Epaphras, Mark, Aristarchus, Demas, and Luke. Then Paul echoes the blessing of verse 3 in the benediction of verse 25: “The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit” (v. 25). All of the encouragement and instruction of Paul’s letter to Philemon is situated in the context of our Lord’s grace – and this same grace should inform and flavor all of our dealings with one another as fellow Christians.

THE PRIORITY OF RELATIONSHIPS

As we start to get into the meat of Paul’s letter, let me highlight the fact that this letter is very much about relationships within the church family. This letter is about the high calling to love one another in a way that befits the gospel and in a way that honors the fellowship that we have in Christ.

First, we see this relational priority on display in verses 1-2: even though Paul addresses Philemon very personally in this letter, he does so in view of the whole church family that meets in Philemon’s house. They will be watching Philemon and waiting to see what he will do!

Second, we see this relational priority on display in verses 5 and 7: Paul is thankful to God for Philemon’s love, by which Philemon has brought refreshment to “the hearts of the saints” (v. 7).

Third, we see this relational priority in the profound prayer of verse 6. Sandwiched between the references to love in verses 5 and 7, are two references to “faith” (v. 5, v. 6). Paul understands that “faith… toward the Lord Jesus” (v. 5) is not something that remains hidden within the privacy of one’s own heart, but instead is a reality that gets expressed visibly in one’s relationships with other Christians. Thus the phrase “the sharing of your faith” in the prayer of verse 6: “and I pray that the sharing of your faith may become effective for the full knowledge of every good thing that is in us for the sake of Christ.”

Verse 6 is utterly profound, but first we need to clear away an obstacle to our understanding. When our 21^st century ears hear the phrase “the sharing of your faith” or sharing your faith, many people immediately think of evangelism. But that is almost certainly not what Paul is talking about here. The word translated “sharing” is that wonderful Greek word ‘koinónia’ which means fellowship or partnership. The idea is that Philemon’s faith is not an individualistic or privatized reality that remains hidden in his own heart. Instead, Philemon’s faith – and the faith of every true Christian – is something that gets expressed and lived and worked out in fellowship with other believers, in communion with “all the saints” (v. 5), in partnership with the members of his house-church, and in camaraderie with his fellow workers Paul and Timothy. All these dear brothers and sisters share together in the life and vitality of faith. True faith is a fellowshipping faith, a communing faith, a participatory faith, a loving faith, in which my heart and life gets linked up with your heart and life, and together we celebrate and enjoy the riches that we share in Jesus.

Now as Philemon faces a new and difficult situation (that is, the need to demonstrate Christian love toward Onesimus), Paul’s desire is that Philemon’s already well-proven love and that Philemon’s already well-proven faith would be displayed yet again. Paul prays that Philemon’s fellowshipping faith – the faith that he embodies and shares in community with his fellow Christians – “may become effective for [or in or with or through] the full knowledge of every good thing that is in us for the sake of Christ.”

Verse 6 is a mouthful and it isn’t the easiest verse to understand, but here’s the gist: through the gospel of God’s grace, there are profoundly beautiful and good things that are “in us” or among us as a fellowship of Christian believers. We are not the authors or developers of these good things. Instead, God Himself has bestowed these good things – these blessings and capacities and empowerments – upon us through the Holy Spirit, whom He poured out abundantly on us when we called upon the name of the Lord for salvation. All of these good things are meant to be known, grasped, and actually put into practice within the fellowship of believers.

With this calling in mind to have an active and public faith that expresses itself in love “for all the saints,” let’s focus our attention on Paul’s appeal to Philemon. As we go through this, we will notice some utterly profound ways in which the gospel of God’s grace transforms our heart, our outlook, and our relationships with fellow believers.

A LITTLE BACKGROUND

But first, a little background. Paul and Philemon lived in a 1^st century world in which it was common for free men to own slaves. Our 21^st century world is so politically sensitive on issues like this that it is difficult to sit down and have a sane conversation about an issue like slavery. As Christians we need to keep a level head and do our best to understand God’s perspective on the issue. My goal is not to be politically correct, but rather to faithfully reflect what God’s Word teaches. Of course, it is not my intent to present a full ‘theology of slavery’ in this particular sermon, but five brief thoughts might be helpful.

1) The Bible demonstrates that slavery is a result of the fall, and not part of God’s original design for human flourishing.

2) The Bible teaches that kidnapping and human trafficking are thoroughly wicked.

3) The Bible teaches that slavery – though not ideal – is permissible in certain situations, such as dealing with people who are in financial debt or dealing with prisoners of war.

4) Bible teaches that it is possible for Christians who are masters and Christians who are slaves to live faithfully and honorable within the context of slavery, even though the circumstance itself is not ideal.

5) The Bible’s priority is the reformation of our hearts, not the reformation of cultural and social institutions. It is right to seek the reformation of cultural and social institutions as opportunities allow, but that is not the first priority. And yes, Bible envisions the ultimate abolition of all slavery because the gospel creates a community of free men and free women – there will be no slavery in the new heaven and the new earth! But at the present time, the transformation of our hearts and minds is the first priority; the renewal of creation will happen in due course.

With that in mind, we need to understand that Philemon was a faithful and loving man who owned a slave named Onesimus. For one reason or another, Onesimus – who was not a believer at the time – apparently ran away or was otherwise separated from Philemon – and on some level their relationship was broken. In the providence of God, Onesimus came into contact with the apostle Paul while Paul was imprisoned. Paul proclaimed the gospel of Jesus Christ to Onesimus, and as he did so, God caused the light of that gospel to shine brightly into Onesimus’ heart – and so Onesimus was “born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead” (1 Peter 1:3). In an instant, Onesimus was a new man with a new heart – and now he could be true to his name. The name ‘Onesimus’ means ‘useful’. As an unbeliever, Onesimus was fundamentally useless. As a matter of fact, every unconverted sinner is fundamentally useless: “None is righteous, no, not one; no one understands; no one seeks for God. All have turned aside; together they have become worthless; no one does good, not even one.” (Romans 3:10-12) But God’s grace changes everything. As indicated in verse 6, God’s grace brings a plethora of good things “in us for the sake of Christ.” And with respect to Onesimus, Paul writes in verse 11: “Formerly he was useless to you, but now he is indeed useful to you and to me.”

But here’s the problem: even though Onesimus has become a child of God, his broken relationship with Philemon has not yet been addressed. And mending that relationship, and putting that relationship on the glorious foundation of the gospel, is the burden of Paul’s letter to Philemon.

SNAPSHOTS OF HOW THE GOSPEL OF GOD’S GRACE TRANSFORMS US

As we walk through verses 8-20, I want you to see five snapshots of how the gospel of God’s grace transforms us, our mindset, and our relationships.

Encourage Heartfelt Obedience

First, the gospel of God’s grace causes us to value free and heartfelt obedience, not outwardly compelled obedience – and this shapes the way that we encourage obedience in others.

Make no mistake about it: Paul wants Philemon to obey the implications of the gospel regarding his treatment of Onesimus. Indeed, Paul is confident that Philemon will obey (v. 21). However, Paul makes it clear in verses 8-14 that what matters is heartfelt obedience that is inwardly motivated by love. Do you see this?

Paul admits in verse 8 that he is “bold enough in Christ to command [Philemon] to do what is required.” Paul could simply and forcefully tell Philemon what to do, and leave it at that, with the expectation that Philemon will respect Paul’s legitimate authority and respond obediently. But while that approach might succeed at securing the right outward behavior, it misses the heart – and it would fail to bring about the relational beauty that comes when Christians love one another from the heart. And when you truly believe this, it impacts the way you encourage obedience in your fellow Christians. You do not settle for an unthinking or unfeeling or robotic obedience. Instead, you aim for the heart!

So instead of commanding Philemon what to do, Paul makes an appeal “for love’s sake” (v. 8). Philemon is no stranger to Christian love. Paul told Philemon in verse 7, “For I have derived much joy and comfort from your love, my brother, because the hearts of the saints have been refreshed through you.” Faith-filled Philemon has loved and refreshed many saints in the past, and now Paul wants Philemon to exhibit this same kind of love for Onesimus.

Paul would actually have liked to keep Onesimus with him: “I would have been glad to keep him with me, in order that he might serve me on your behalf during my imprisonment for the gospel, but I preferred to do nothing with your consent in order that your goodness might not be by compulsion but of your own accord.” (v. 13-14) Paul’s restraint here is beautiful. He doesn’t say, ‘I’m an apostle with apostolic authority, I’m making an executive decision to keep Onesimus with me, and you’re just going to have to deal with it.’ Instead he is saying, ‘Look, I’d really like to have Onesimus with me, but that’s up to you, brother. The ball is in your court. I only ask that you act in accordance with the grace of the gospel.’ You see, Paul is after Philemon’s goodness. Isn’t that what he prayed for in verse 6 – that “every good thing that is in us for the sake of Christ” would find further expression in Philemon’s faith-walk toward his fellow Christians? Paul prayed for it, and Paul is appealing to Philemon, but Paul won’t pressure Philemon into it. What Paul wants is not an externally compelled goodness, but an inwardly offered goodness – “of your own accord.”

One of the great sicknesses that can affect a church is when the church becomes preoccupied with external goodness, external obedience, external behavior, without regard to the heart. And when that happens, everyone feels pressured to ‘keep up appearances’ and ‘put on a good show’. That is sick. And that is not the way the gospel works. If by God’s grace we have become true Christians, which means that the root of faith and the root of faithfulness and the root of love has been planted in our hearts, then we ought to encourage one another to walk in obedience “of [our] own accord” in response to God’s Word, confident that those who have “faith… toward the Lord Jesus” will live accordingly. But let’s not devolve into a sick game of pressuring people into right behavior. That’s not the way of the gospel, and it doesn’t produce the relational beauty that God desires. So always remember those three words: “for love’s sake.”

Repair Broken Relationships

Second, the gospel of God’s grace causes us to repair broken relationships. I’m not going to go into great detail here, but I don’t want us to miss the obvious. The burden of verses 8-20 is to repair the broken relationship between Philemon and Onesimus. The glorious fact that Onesimus has been converted and is now a child of God, doesn’t mean that he can ignore his broken relationship with Philemon. The broken relationship needs to be put right. Our love for the Lord (the greatest commandment) must necessarily be demonstrated in our love for others (the second great commandment), which means that we must address broken relationships, especially within the body of Christ. “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.” (Romans 12:18) “And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body.” (Colossians 3:15) God’s grace doesn’t lead us to bypass broken relationships, but rather to mend them. In fact, one may say that the entire purpose of the gospel is reconciliation: to reconcile sinners to God, and then to reconcile the reconciled to each other – not in some kind of ethereal world, but in the real world.  

Embrace One Another as Spiritual Family

Third, the gospel of God’s grace creates ‘spiritual family’ among those who receive it. We see this in verses 10-12 and again in verses 15-16. Do you hear the tenderness in Paul’s words? “I appeal to you for my child, Onesimus, whose father I became in my imprisonment. (Formerly he was useless to you, but now he is indeed useful to you and to me.) I am sending him back to you, sending my very heart.” (v. 10-12) This is remarkable! Humanly speaking, Onesimus had been a useless nobody. But now through the gospel, by which Onesimus was born again into God’s forever family, Onesimus was now like a son to the apostle Paul. Paul had so much affection for this young convert that he is able to describe him as “my very heart.” Paul, we may observe, was not in the business of religion. For Paul it wasn’t about ‘the organization’, ‘cash flow’, or ‘market share’. It was about beloved people being won to Christ and then growing up in Christ. And Paul was able to make a credible appeal “for love’s sake” because love was the reality in which he lived. And Paul knew that just as the gospel had made Onesimus like a son to him, so also the gospel had made Onesimus a brother to Philemon. And now the objectively true brother-to-brother relationship between Onesimus and Philemon needed to be experienced practically.

So Paul writes in verses 15-16: “For this perhaps is why he was parted from you for a while, that you might have him back forever, no longer as a bondservant but more than a bondservant as a beloved brother – especially to me, but how much more to you, both in the flesh and in the Lord.” Previously, you had Philemon the Christian man who had become the master of a non-Christian man named Onesimus. Philemon had exhibited faith and love, and Onesimus had not. But now as he was returning home to Philemon, Onesimus was a different man. A new man. A child of God. And that reality put Philemon and Onesimus into a fundamentally different relationship. In terms of the social and economic and legal reality, Onesimus was still a bondservant to Philemon. The logic of emancipation is built into Paul’s letter, but Paul doesn’t require it or demand it. Remember, God’s Word pursues the transformation of our hearts and of our relationships before it pursues the reformation of our social and cultural institutions. But regardless of the social and economic and legal situation, the spiritual reality is of far greater importance. Now Onesimus is “a beloved brother.” Now Onesimus stands on the same ground as Philemon: Philemon is “our beloved fellow worker” (v. 1), and now Onesimus is “a beloved brother… to me” and “to you.” The slave has become a brother. The socially unequal has become an equal in the Lord. The useless one is now beloved and useful. The estranged one has become family. The gospel changes everything.

Of course, Philemon and Onesimus still have a relationship “in the flesh” (v. 16). Here the phrase “in the flesh” refers to the physical and social realities of this present world. For the time being, Philemon and Onesimus remain master and bondservant, and they’ll have to work that out. But now they can work that out with love and goodwill toward one another, which will bring blessing to that relationship. But the greater relationship is the one they now have “in the Lord” as brothers to one another. Whatever stresses they have had in the past, now Philemon and Onesimus can refresh one another in the Lord, because the gospel creates ‘spiritual family’ among those who receive it.

Use Your Relational Capital for the Good of Others

Up until this point, Paul hasn’t told Philemon to do anything yet. But Paul’s appeal in verses 8-16 is building up to a remarkable high point in verses 17-20. And what I want you to see is that the gospel of God’s grace causes us to use our relational capital for the well-being of others. When I say ‘relational capital’ I am referring to your position and influence. It doesn’t matter whether you have a lot of relational capital or only a little – what matters is using it “for love’s sake” in order to bless others and build up the body of Christ.

Paul has enormous relational capital, at least with Philemon. Paul is the senior partner, so to speak, in the ministry of the gospel, in which Philemon is a “fellow worker” (v. 1) and “partner” (v. 17). Paul brings tremendous spiritual weight to the table as someone who has paid dearly for following Christ: “Paul, a prisoner for Christ Jesus” (v. 1); “I, Paul, an old man and now a prisoner also for Christ Jesus” (v. 9). Paul is not writing a relationally detached letter from the comfort of a Mediterranean resort. Paul is literally laying down his life for the sake of the gospel, so that the gospel would take root and grow in people like Philemon and Onesimus. When “an old man” like Paul has followed Christ faithfully for many years and has suffered profoundly for it, you listen. And Paul knows this. Paul knows that Philemon holds him in high regard. Paul knows that Philemon would probably do anything he asked. And what Paul is doing is leveraging his great influence with Philemon for the sake of Onesimus. Paul is spending his social capital on Onesimus in order to bring about Onesimus’ reconciliation with Philemon. It is as if Paul is saying, ‘Philemon, I know that you would want to refresh my heart. Well, let me tell you something: Onesimus is “my very heart.” Philemon, I know that if I were to come visit you, you would receive me and treat me in a manner worthy of Christ. Well, let me tell you something….’ And Paul writes,

“So if you consider me your partner, receive him as you would receive me. If he has wronged you at all, or owes you anything, charge that to my account. I, Paul, write this with my own had: I will repay it–to say nothing of your owing me even your own self. Yes, brother, I want some benefit from you in the Lord. Refresh my heart in Christ.” (v. 17-20)

Receive Onesimus as you would receive me. Welcome him in the same way that you would welcome me. Treat him with the same level of generosity and warmth with which you would treat me. Refresh him just like you would refresh me if I was the one walking through your front door. The thing that Paul wants from Philemon isn’t a thing, isn’t stuff, isn’t praise, but love for Onesimus. If Philemon refreshes Onesimus, then Paul’s own heart will be refreshed – because, after all, Onesimus is Paul’s “very heart” (v. 12).

Now do you see what Paul is doing here? Paul and Philemon are partners in the gospel and partners on the same team of gospel ministry. Paul calls Philemon “our beloved fellow worker.” Paul calls Archippus “our fellow soldier.” And this whole idea of partnering and co-laboring is related to the concept of “sharing” or fellowshipping in verse 6. Paul prays for Philemon to have a faith that generously and warmly expands outward into communion and fellowship and partnership and collaboration with his Christian brothers and sisters. The koinónia sharing of verse 6 is part of the same cloth of koinónia partnering in verse 17. When Paul says, “So if you consider me your partner, receive him as you would receive me” – he is essentially saying, ‘Philemon, Onesimus is part of the family now. He is part of the partnership. He is part of the team. He is a “beloved brother” and very “useful” now. Treat him accordingly!’ Do you see what the gospel does? The gospel of God’s grace causes us to have an ever-expanding circle of Christian fellowship and ministry collaboration – and we are eager to welcome others into it!

Be Generous in Forgiving Others

Moreover, Paul tells Philemon to charge him for any wrongdoing or debt that Onesimus might have incurred (v. 18). This is truly remarkable! The gospel of God’s grace not only causes us to use our relational capital for the well-being of others, and not only causes us to welcome new disciples into the fellowship, but also causes us to be generous in forgiving others – even to the point of taking responsibility for the sins of others, even to the point of absorbing the cost of other people’s offenses.

Let’s do a little exercise here. Paul writes verse 18 because Onesimus may have wronged Philemon or misused (or perhaps even stolen) Philemon’s resources. Whatever the specific details might be, Onesimus might owe Philemon. Now Philemon, as Onesimus’ master, has the law and social convention on his side. Under the law of the day, Philemon can make Onesimus pay or inflict punishment. But Paul says, ‘Let’s approach this a different way, a better way – the gospel way!

So Paul says: go ahead and take out a piece of parchment and put my name at the top. And under my name, write down all the ways in which Onesimus has wronged you, or mismanaged your stuff, or caused you to lose income; and write down all the various amounts of money that he owes you, whether he stole it or failed to return it or through negligence damaged your property. Write it all down, and make sure it all goes down under my name. Not under Onesimus’ name, but under my name. Charge the wrongdoing or debts “to my account.” And then Paul says: “I will repay it.”

Now just suppose, for the sake of argument, that Philemon proceeds to write it all down on his piece of parchment, taking great care to be accurate and comprehensive, and finally comes up with a figure like $20,000. So now Paul owes Philemon $20,000.

But our little exercise isn’t over yet, because we have to look at the rest of verse 19: “I, Paul, write this with my own hand: I will repay it–to say nothing of your owing me even your own self.”

Can you imagine what would transpire in Philemon’s heart? One ledger has Paul’s name on it, and it indicates that Paul owes him $20,000. But then he reads another ledger, with Philemon’s name on it, and it indicates that Philemon owes Paul everything! Paul, on behalf of Onesimus, owes Philemon a small debt. But Philemon owes Paul “[his] own self,” which is such a huge debt that it would be utterly impossible to repay it. What this must mean is that Paul had such a massive role in Philemon’s spiritual development – perhaps Philemon was converted to Christ through Paul’s ministry and/or Philemon was discipled by Paul. In either case, Paul’s influence was so profound and so life-shaping for Philemon, that Philemon knew his indebtedness to Paul was beyond calculation. I suspect at this point that Philemon takes the ledger with Paul’s name on it, crumbles it up, and throws it away. If the person to whom I owe everything is willing to absorb the minor debts incurred by Onesimus, it is fitting that I cancel the debts altogether. The gospel of God’s grace causes us to forgive one another from the heart, and enjoys the fellowship that comes after the wrongs and debts have been cleared out of the way.

OUR LORD JESUS IS THE FOUNDATION AND MOTIVATION!

Now if I were to stop the sermon right here, I would be doing us a huge disservice. In truth, there is something much deeper going on here. What Paul is doing – and what Paul wants Philemon to do – is to display the beauty of the gospel, to put the gospel into actual practice, to exercise our faith in the gospel by loving others in a gospel-shaped way. That is what is going on here. Which means that the gospel itself is the main thing.

So ponder this. The gospel message is that Jesus used his relational capital, his social capital, and his moral capital, for our salvation. Jesus used his merits and connections for our benefit. In our sinfulness, we were disconnected from the Father on account of our sin, and our track record was a long and ongoing list of demerits. We were morally bankrupt human beings who had no business in the society of heaven. As sinners we simply do not belong in the presence of the Holy One. Like the pre-converted Onesimus, we were useless and worthless. Like the pre-converted Onesimus, we were bondservants, that is, slaves – but far worse, we were slaves to the cruel taskmaster of sin. And we had nothing in us to turn the tables, we had no resources to lift us out of our impoverished condition – none. Then comes Jesus, Son of God, Lord of glory, Friend of sinners, full of grace and truth ­– truly God and truly Man. And the Man Christ Jesus is the only perfect and righteous and altogether lovely and loving human being who ever lived, and He spent it on us. By the Father’s beautiful and wise design, Jesus essentially says to the Father on behalf of every one who trusts Him: ‘[Receive] him as you would receive me. Charge all of his wrongdoing and of his sin-debt and all of his guilt to me. And apply the status of my sonship and all of my obedience and all of my righteousness to him.’ And Jesus paid the price for all this through His broken body and shed blood on the cross.

And when it comes to our own stumbling steps as we attempt to deal graciously and kindly and patiently with one another, we ought to hear the Lord Jesus saying to us: when a dear brother or dear sister wrongs you, remember this: “you [owe] me even your own self.” Jesus paid your debt and the debt of that fellow Christian that you’re having a hard time with. So remember what Jesus did for you and for that fellow Christian – and be gracious to that brother or sister.

In fact, the Lord Jesus so identifies with His people that He could say about each one of His people the same thing that Paul said about Onesimus: “my very heart.” And as we treat Jesus’ people, so we treat Jesus.

The pre-converted Paul was persecuting the church, but do you remember what Jesus told Paul on the Damascus Road. Jesus said to Paul, “I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting.” (Acts 9:5) Jesus identifies with His people!

And on the Day of Judgment, all of humanity will be gathered before the King for judgment. Do you remember what separates the sheep from the goats – the righteous from the wicked – in Matthew 25:31-46? The sheep – the righteous ones who truly belong to Jesus – are the ones who gave Jesus food and drink when He was hungry and thirsty, who welcomed Jesus when He was a stranger, who clothed Jesus when He was naked, who visited Jesus when He was sick, and who came to Jesus when He was in prison. How is it that we could minister to Jesus in such ways when Jesus is glorified in heaven? Here’s the answer: “Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.” (Matthew 25:40) In other words, when you serve Jesus’ people in love, Jesus receives that service as unto Himself. Do you understand?

When Philemon receives and refreshes Onesimus, he is in that very action receiving and refreshing Paul. But beyond that, in that very same action he is actually receiving and refreshing the Lord Jesus Christ. Such is the reality of the Christian koinónia in which we are called to live.

By God’s grace, let’s put this gospel fellowship on display by seeking to honor, love, and refresh our fellow Christians – and thereby to increasingly exhibit “every good thing that is in us for the sake of Christ” (v. 6).

Let us pray.

ENDNOTES

[1] James Orr, quoted in J. I. Packer, Knowing God (20^th Anniversary Edition). Downers Grove: InterVarsity Press, 1993 (orig. 1973): p. 123.

BIBLIOGRAPHY

Douglas J. Moo, The Letters to the Colossians and to Philemon (The Pillar New Testament Commentary). Grand Rapids: William B. Eerdmans Publishing Company, 2008.